Bright words for dark days

Today is a typical October day in Chicago – it’s brisk and overcast, the leaves are beginning to turn and fall off, summer plants are reaching the end of their life or have been replaced by mums. Under normal circumstances, I love fall – the smell of the cold air, the vibrant foliage, excitement around upcoming holidays, anticipating crackling fires and apple cider so hot it burns your mouth. Today though, the ominous clouds hanging low overhead and the complete lack of sunshine make my mood all the more reflective of my current interpretation of the weather – dark. Gloomy. Depressing.

By nature, I’m very introspective. I could spend hours in self reflection without a second thought, and it’s as much a blessing as it is a curse. Case in point –
• I can learn very quickly from my mistakes and rarely repeat them more than once = good.
• I often spend far too much time worrying about the way events transpired, or paralyzed in fear of what’s to come = not so good.
Recent events in the marketplace, the uncertainty of our country’s future and sensationalist media (Dow drops 1000 points! The sky is falling! Etc…) doesn’t help my case. It also doesn’t help that I feel far from alone in my concerns. People outwardly discuss worry about their jobs, their homes, and their 401k balance in the way with as much casualty as the latest antics of Britney Spears. They want understanding and sympathy and someone to point the finger at RIGHT NOW.

But this is not the time for placing blame on greedy Wall Street, unethical Washington, or predatory mortgage brokers. Instead, now is a time that we all need to take responsibility.

-crickets-

Yes, I know it’s not your fault. You saved diligently before you bought your mortgage so you had a big down payment, you were educated about your financial situation, and you didn’t take a home equity loan you couldn’t afford to pay. And likely you were very, very far removed from anyone who had any direct responsibility. Chances are you were closer than you think. Even if all your money was in cash under a mattress (which I really doubt, knowing anything about my target audience) and you rented an apartment from your mother, this situation has touched nearly everyone. Even if you don’t know a single person who took a home equity line of credit only to later have to foreclosure on their home, you probably have a parent with a substantial amount of money in an IRA that was in a “safe” investment of CDOs (collaterized debt obligations, which are essentially a mutual fund of home loans). Perhaps your employer was affected by the credit crunch and backed away from the necessary capital to stay competitive because they were investing in a higher return mutual fund. But what does it really matter now? What can we do about it? As I tell the people who work for me “Blaming only wastes time and energy – don’t blame, create solutions.”

The fact is, there is very little we can do right now, so it might be prudent to do a little ostrich emulation (putting our heads in the sand). Make a disaster plan for what you could do if the sky really felt, and then put it away. Stop checking your 401k. Stop listening to the downward slope of the Dow (again) today. Surround yourself with as much positive energy as possible. Take joy in small things like hot apple cider and vibrant fall foliage. Do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return. Volunteer. Bake. Exercise.

There’s an interesting relationship between anger, worry and health. People involved in lengthy lawsuits nearly have a much higher incidence of serious health conditions. People who suffer depression are more likely to have accidents, develop cancer, and die of stroke. Financial uncertainty can cause depression.

It’s no coincidence that we are all so downtrodden.

Anyone who took Psych101 (and didn’t sleep through it completely) knows about the self-fulfilling prophecy, aka – what you focus on becomes reality. There is no stronger proof of this phenomenon than in the stock market. If everyone is scared that everything is going to hell with no recourse and promptly depletes every stock they own in order to keep all their money “liquid”, guess what – the stock market drops.

Focus on what you can control, not what you cannot. If you have people who work for you, focus on helping your employees improve at their jobs, instead of where your next paycheck is going to come from, or whether you will be the impact of a job cut to reduce expenses. If you work for someone, focus on adding value and continuous improvement, so you can be resilient in times of change. Do your best and relish in the sense of satisfaction of a job well done. Help someone less fortunate to give yourself some perspective. Tell your family and friends how much they mean to you and watch how rich you suddenly feel.

I’m always amazed that we live in one of the richest nations of all time and we still complain about how much we lack. It’s sad that we rarely talk about how much we have. In times when I dwell on fear and impending financial doom, Mr. Cents has a way to ground me like no other – by talking about the “worst thing that could happen”. The conversation usually goes something like this:

And what if you lost your job, what would happen then? I would have to try and find a new job. But if I couldn’t in time, we would not be able to pay our bills.
And what then?
We would lose our savings, our house and all our things.
And why would that be so bad?
We would have to start over from scratch.
And why would that be so disastrous?
We wouldn’t have a place to live.
You’re saying if we were completely destitute we would have no where to turn?
Well, I suppose we could live with our parents or our friends until we were able to get on our feet.
And that’s the worst that could happen? Is that really so bad? Is that the end of the world?
Well, it would be awful, but I guess…we would survive.
Right, we would survive. And we could pick ourselves up again.

He's so smart.

Though I’m no stranger to dark days, I do see much brighter days ahead. Money means nothing if you don’t have something to live for, and we have far more than we need to survive. That, my dear readers, is true wealth.

Whenever life gets particularly difficult, I turn to an inspiring passage left on a church pew by an unknown author in the late 17th century. It’s still as true today as it was hundreds years ago. Below is an excerpt of the Desirada. I hope you get as much peace and satisfaction out of it as I do:

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding in an ordered manner. Therefore, be at peace with nature and the mysterious process of evolution, whatever you conceive it to be; and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, strive to maintain your own inner peace while you do those things bring you happiness and contribute to the survival of humanity. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.