I have never been much for going along with the crowd just for the sake of getting along with the crowd. I'm just too much of an individual. Even in my influential youth I had trouble fitting in because I often marched to the beat of my own drum and (with few exceptions) did whatever I wanted. Mr. Cents also follows a similar mantra. My mother-in-law tells me that Mr. Cents was practically born a non-conformist. His first sentence at the wise age of two was "me do it."
The trouble with blazing your own trail is that sometimes you alienate people. It's especially challenging living a lifestyle different from your peer group. With few exceptions, people tend to associate with those that are like them and veer away from those who aren't. It makes sense, then, why there's such enormous pressure to "keep up with the Jones' " and why the phrase "you've changed" is often stated with such distain. Peer pressure is a powerful motivator, and although the face changes the message is the same: Just do it - be like us so you can fit in.
Right now you're thinking "Nonsense, I'm not a kid anymore. I make my own decisions. No one tells me what to do. I'm not a victim of peer pressure." That's because peer pressure often has a friendly face: your shopping buddy who tells you about the great deal she just got in your favorite shoe store. The friendly host who encourages you to forgo your diet for just one more night. The spouse who lures you with watching a movie instead of getting on the treadmill. The message is "Live for today! You can always put off your changes until tomorrow. For now, just get comfortable and do what you've always done."
Considering spending, there is another powerful motivator - to have the best things, to be admired by your friends and associates.
Those shoes are sooo cute - I can just hear the compliments I will receive when I wear them to work.
Everyone will want to come to our house to watch the big game on a giant flat screen TV. We're going to have the best Super Bowl party ever.
Our peer group isn't the evil, materialistic consumers we have made them out to be. Instead, they have a friendly face - they are our friends, our family, our co-workers. Not everyone has an intrinsic desire to follow their own desires enough to forgo relationships with other people. Leaving our relationships in tact nearly always trumps meaningful change.
Are we destined to either maintain the status quo or live a life estranged from the people who matter to us? Absolutely not. Although radical change can sometimes intimidate us, gradual changes over time can ease us into the life we want to live while maintaining relationships. Over time your changes can even have a positive influence to those around you. There are several things you can do to ease into a frugal lifestyle. Here are 6 easy tips to get you started:
Good news - saving money is in!
Whoever thought being frugal would be trendy? Sustainable living is gaining increasing popularity. You can easily recognize the trend when even celebrities buy electric cars, carry reusable shopping bags and make sure their residence is "green". So now, you're not cheap by meal planning so you don't waste food or combining all your errands into one trip - you're saving the environment!
Surround yourself with a new reference group.
Not motivated by your current peer group? Join a new one. When you are trying on a new lifestyle, it helps to surround yourself with others who are also living that lifestyle.
The Weight Watchers mantra "People who attend meetings lose three times more weight than dieting alone" capitalizes on the phenomenon that you need a support group to help with change. The psychology behind support groups is successful because it helps promote activity when you identify with a reference group. By changing your reference group, you can help influence your behavior.
Subscribe to financial blogs, join a financial investment group or start writing on a message board. There are plenty of avenues for creating a frugal peer group without abandoning your current social circle.
Recognize and remove some of the unconscious influence around you.
Stop window shopping as a hobby. Even if you manage to resist temptation, you will eventually feel a sense of deprivation if you spend every lunch hour at the mall or pouring over the latest Pottery Barn catalog. Stop unsolicited advertizing by putting yourself on a do not mail list. Cancel magazine and catalog subscriptions that immediately cause you to spend thousands of dollars in your mind.
Study a little bit of consumer marketing and you'll understand why the most popular items are at eye level - so that people can see them and therefore, buy them. Supermarket aisle end caps and checkout shelves are prime marketing real-estate - products placed in these areas are specifically marketed as impulse purchases. Have you ever gone to a store and said, "I need to buy a pack of gum and a Snicker's bar"? Of course not. Skip the end caps and arm yourself with the knowledge that the checkout shelves are aimed at last minute purchases.
Do you shop at Super Target for groceries and find yourself inexplicably drawn to buy things that aren't groceries? Try sticking to a grocery list and if that doesn't work, start shopping at a store that only sells groceries.
Try on a new free hobby
Despise climbing the stairs to nowhere at the gym? Join a running club and be instantly entertained. Consider your passion and find others who share it. Mr. Cents and I both love reading and politics. A library card and serving on community boards are free and fulfilling entertainment. Did I mention that you can rent movies and CDs at the library for free as well?
Be committed.
People tend to follow those with passion and conviction. If you believe in a cause, you can inspire and motivate those around you. Consider the end game and share it. People lack mentors. Be committed and you are instantly more attractive and inspirational. The trick here is to commit to goal that are meaningful - you have to believe in them too.
In every group, there are leaders and followers. In your own group, you can either break off from your group or lead the group in a different direction. As you change, the people around you will either change or leave your life, going in their own direction. You may be surprised at the impact you have, not only on your own life, but the lives of those around you.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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