The Zen of Shopping

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like
cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
- Jonathan Swift

Most days, I enjoy frugality and living beneath our means, so it’s not a big internal struggle for me to live beneath our means. We have a decent chunk of savings to be prepared for emergencies. We can go out to dinner occasionally without breaking the bank. We’re not consuming madly, adding frivolous waste to the planet. Finding things we need on the cheap can be a fun game.

Yet, I am still missing something. On occasion, I feel like we’re making too many sacrifices, we’re acting too frugally; we’re giving up too much because we’re afraid to risk not having enough. “What if the worst happens and we need to live off one income – shouldn’t we be cutting our budget to that? What if the economy goes into hyper-inflation? What if we don’t have enough to send our unborn child to college?” During those times I have to ask myself, “Are we really being frugal, or are we saving just for the sake of saving?”

The answer comes back to life goals and balance. Are you leading a life well lived? What would you change if you were going to die tomorrow? Next year? In five years? If you’ve given up your passion to travel in order to save for a one year emergency fund, chances are you may be cheating yourself out of living your life. Eventually the travel bug will fester and bite you in the ankle just when you burn out from routine of your job.

Frugality in regards to consumer behavior is really about two separate, yet intertwined concepts: (1) Finding a good deal on (2) things you need. The former, I’ve got down to a science. The latter….well, I really do NEED seventeen pairs of nude size A pantyhose…eventually. (I did say most days frugality is not an internal struggle.)

Sometimes, I want to rip out the credit card and go galloping through the mall on a spending spree. The thing is; I am a great shopper. I can find anything you could possibly ever need, and almost always on sale. And if there is a deal to be had, believe me, I will find it. It used to be somewhat of a hobby for me. As far as hobbies go, shopping can be very expensive. However, if you’re anything like me, going on a spending freeze just eventually backfires. I liken spending freezes to crash dieting. Picture being in a bakery after a long stretch of a low-carbohydrate diet – just the aroma alone could send you into a doughnut eating free for all.

I’m not advocating blowing the budget on a Prada bag, but sometimes retail therapy really works. If you MUST buy something before you run screaming through the dollar store, try a few of these suggestions:

Start with a plan.
Are you coveting something specific, like a pair of Seven jeans or an iPhone? Lucky you! Specific goals with a time limit are more easily attainable, and help you to end distractions to other things. Want that iPhone even faster? Put a picture of it in your wallet and stop eating takeout for a month.

Make a game of it.
Sometimes, though, you don’t want anything specific, you just want the experience. Time to go on a shopping spree! Afraid you’ll spend your entire emergency fund by scoping out the electronics department or an entire Spring wardrobe from Nordstrom’s? Give yourself a set amount of money (say, $50 or $100) and see how far you can make it last. Let yourself buy anything you want, but only up to the preset amount. Find something you want that’s a little larger than the set amount? Don’t fret, and go back to planning for a big purchase. You’ll have it in no time.

Think about where your desire to spend is coming from.
Target’s greatest invention was to put groceries in the store alongside all those cute things you didn’t know you needed. Oh, cute summer dress hanging next to the produce, why do you mock me so? If the urge to spend comes from where you shop, go somewhere else.

But what if somewhere else is more expensive, Mrs. Cents?

Be honest with yourself…how much are you really saving if you buy things OTHER than groceries at the store? Similarly, if perusing the latest gossip magazines causes you to throw out most of your closet, it’s probably time to let the subscription lapse.

In a nutshell, if you really want to shop, no amount of frugality is going to stop you. Talking your way out of it will just lead to more deprivation, and even more urge to spend later on. Live a little and see how rich your life really can be.